Poker News

Jim McKenna

Have you ever had the experience of doing or saying something that was just like one of your parents? In fact, you may have not only sounded like one of them, but you were being them. This is referred to as your “Parent Ego State.” And, wow, does it ever show up in casinos.

Dealers are trained to take charge of their tables. So, if they had recorded very critical and demanding parents in their heads, who’s likely to show up? Yep, you will suddenly see their parents taking charge, correcting you, supporting you, being tolerant, being impatient, being chastising, or whatever.

Players will also show their Parent Ego States when confronting dealers or other players. Some are patient, some will laugh, snicker, complain, or ignore the whole thing. It’s not unusual in poker to see players, dealers, and the floor, putting others in “short pants.” For instance, when called to the table to resolve a conflict, a supervisor who ruled that a player in a new game had to post was questioned why. Her answer was, “Because I said so!” Sounds like someone’s mom to me.

Just like when we were growing up, the Parent will show up when there is trouble. I’ve seen some dealers handle misbehaving players effectively and with much skill. It’s just that the “bully parents” are apt to show up in distress.

Some parents let kids grow and work things out on their own. Others will call in the other parent (”Floor!!”). Ideally, the parent is meant to be protective. However, as we all know, there are occasions when, “with parents like that, who needs enemies?”

Parents don’t show up uninvited. Often, a player will act in a childish way and invite the criticism of the dealer’s Parent. This can also occur when a dealer is being childish and invites players to become critical. For example, a dealer who is seldom focused on what is happening, is “visiting” or watching TV will often “burn and turn” too soon. Recently, a friend of mine had a Jack and Nine (off-suited). On the flop, a Jackand Nine of spades turned up. The turn didn’t matter. However, on the river, the dealer was busy chatting away and “burned and turned” before the last player had a chance of fold or call the bet. He dealt the Jack which had to be shuffled back into the deck when the floor came over. So, when the new river card was dealt, it was a spade and my friend lost with two pair (Jackes and Nines) to a flush. Of course, you’ve never seen a more distraught parent than my friend’s when this happened.

I like to say, “You can always tell poker players, but you can’t tell them much.” Some people in parental positions never admit when they make mistakes. Recently, a player threw in twenty dollars and said, “twelve” when raising the bet in a 6-12 game. The dealer thought the player said, “call.” This dealer insisted that he was right. The player insisted that he was right. The player was found to be right when the floor came over and saw that because the player had put out twenty dollars in chips he had to be raising. So, stubborn parents can hurt you and can help you.

How a dealer takes charge of his or her table may need more Adult than parental controls. A player turned his cards over prematurely before the last player had a chance to call the bet. The player, who realized his mistake, needed no further correction. Instead of being supportive, we heard the dealer say, “You should pay better attention and stop doing that, tsk, tsk.” To this another player said, “Oh! I understand. ?Don’t be impulsive and Don’t have fun!’” Players and dealers would do better to leave their Parents outside the casino and bring in their Adult (thinking part) to protect them while they are playing or working.

Filed under: Poker News