Poker News

Poker Cop

I’ve been caught speeding. I’ve tried, and failed, to bluff information about the House of Cards out of the disfigured card room owner, Honey. She yells to Big Elmo, “Stop them!” He draws his gun. Jenny throws Big Elmo’s cat out the window.

He yells, “Noooooooo!” and rushes past us to thewindow.

Jenny says, “Run!”

I run as fast as I can, down the stairs and onto the street. The taxi sits were we left it. Jenny throws open the door, yells, “Get in!” I try to but trip and fall over Little Elmo, who, thrown out a three-story window, wants revenge. I lay on my side. The cat, back arched, claws out, hisses, and closes in on me.

“Jack!” screams Jenny, “Look out!”

I roll over. Big Elmo’s pointing a gun at my stomach, says, “This gutshot’s for you.”

I grab and fling the angry cat, claws out, into his face. Big Elmo falls back.

I get up and into the taxi. “Go! Go!! Go!!!” yells Jenny and, tires screaming, we pull away. Big Elmo fights the cat off and manages to fire twice at our fleeing taxi. The first shot shatters the back window. The second shot punctures the gas tank.

“What now?” asks Jenny.

“Now? I don’t know. The Dealer’s dead. The Small Man thinks I’m dead. Honey wants me dead. There’s no one left to tell us about the House Of Cards.”

Suddenly the cab takes a 90? right turn, throwing Jenny and me across the back seat.

“Slow down!” I yell, rapping on the wire cage that separates us from the driver. Another 90? turn, this one to the left, sends us sprawling. I yell, “Slow down, you idiot! Are you’re trying to kill us?” The cabby turns around.

“That,” says The Ugly Man, “is exactly what I’m trying to do.”

We race wildly through the streets. I watch as the speedometer’s needle goes up 70 . . . 80 . . . 90

I yell, “What do you want?”

Over the roar of the motor he yells back, “Your Invitation to the House of Cards!”

“I can’t give you what I don’t…”

He slams on the brakes and we come to a screeching halt. I crash into the wire cage. The Ugly Man says, “I know you have an Invitation. You killed all those poker players to get it. Now, unless you give it up, I’m going to kill you.”

“I don’t…”

He mashes down on the accelerator. Jenny cries out. I’m thrown hard against the back seat. The Ugly Man drives madly, tires squealing, motor shrieking, twisting the wheel wildly left and then wildly right.

We enter an alleyway and jerk to a stop. Ahead is a brick wall. Dead end. “Give it to me or die!” screams the Ugly Man. Jenny begs, “Jack! Give it to him. Please! Give it to him…”

“I can’t!” I tell her, “I don’t have an Invitation…”

The Ugly Man lets out an animal howl. He floors the accelerator and, throwing open the driver door, jumps from the taxi as it races straight for the brick wall. Jenny, her hands splayed on either side of her face, screams hysterically. I put my arms around her. The wall comes closer… and closer… and…

Filed under: Poker News