Poker News

Donald Woods Jr.

I certainly concede that I do not know everything. In fact, that is a relief as I would be too busy in a twenty-four hour day to do anything else. However-I am sure you knew there would be a however-I am fairly certain some people must have been put here on earth to aggravate us people really in the know. I’m driving my vehicle down the street minding my own business when a radio jock decided to make an asinine statement via the radio. I had to pull the car over to collect my breath. Again, I do not know everything, but I knew I had to respond to the ridiculous stance taken by the “jock” and his caller cronies. At this point I had all but turned into some kind of etiquette police. No matter, this particular situation required that I get involved.

I call the radio station only to be placed on hold. Not the regular-sandwich break-hold, but the deep-freeze-should I hang up or hold on-hold. Although I was now simmering mad I still felt it my civic duty to continue to pursue the misinformed culprits. Like some kind of radio police I stayed the course while listening to more inane babbling from the station jock. Now, I decided that I am dedicating my life to the pursuit of ventures such as these-as the clock now showed over 40 minute wait. What the station empty heads did not know is 40 minutes isn’t even a heartbeat at the poker table, so I dug in and waited some more. They must have sensed my resolve to eventually get on the line, so they continually went to commercial break after break.

Undaunted, I opened up a can of pears that I had not eaten at lunch, as I countered the stations move of promising to hear from more callers, then providing more commercials.

So now, while contemplating my opening dialogue I considered my motivation for this hardheaded pursuit. Am I some kind of super-hero summoned to the scene of a radio host’ stupidity? I’m really starting to feel stupid as my minutes on my cellular now reached well into red alarm status. Here I am on anytime minutes and still no connection. At last I hear, “Let’s go to Donald on his cell phone, hello Donald? Donald? I guess his call got dropped. Call us back if can hear me, Donald. I’ll be d— after waiting all this time the cell company drops my call. I guess that what I get for trying to save the world.

Not long after that calamity I ventured into a casino near by where a spirited debate was happening. Once again, I resisted the temptation to participate. But, one of the parties involved in the now full scale argument was so far out of line, it just begged for the self described etiquette police to chime in with the truth. Right when I’m fighting the feeling to participate the “out-of-line-guy” says something so ridiculous everyone just start laughing at him. It would take too long to give you the specifics, but I can draw a picture for you. If you sprinkled some truth serum on the whole casino and the following hand came up: after the cards were dealt out everyone at the table reluctantly declared their prospective hands. “Out-of-line-guy,” says to the bettor what do you have? The bettor again confides that he now has made three of a kind. The last card is dealt. “Out-ofline- guy” asks again, what do you have? Reluctantly as if under a spell the bettor decries, “I now have a full house” This out of line guy would probably say something like, “I think your bluffing, I’d better keep you honest”

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