Poker News

Pumped on Steroids

We have become a win at all cost society, so that the shortterm results have yielded a mix bag of consequences. Namely, for all the heralded accomplishments of this era there is an equal amount of failures and embarrassments. According to any number of sources, the increased steroid usage can be directly attributed to the overwhelming success of today’s athlete. In addition, to what degree has the influx of new era poker player’s success attributable to steroid usage? Many celebrated athletes in sports are linked with the illegal practice of steroid usage, either directly or indirectly. Somehow, this does not seem quite fair, since there is no real way of knowing the truth, given all the advanced ways to circumvent testing. Just who are the culprits and to what degree is steroid usage aiding in the overall, performances are not available at this time. Therefore, I have decided to under go a test to determine to what degree steroid usage has on the physical and mental stability.

For the sake of this test, I have injected a small sample of the new designer steroid, antibiotic writer simplex, to measure the effect if any, on writer enhancement. So far, into this column, I feel no ill effects, but wait! Yes, yes it is starting to come to me…Since the discovery of steroid usage and the subsequent paralysis the limited results of this said study have yielded, the over all public opinion is varied. Depending on whom you speak to, the results can be from total opposite ends of the spectrum. “Yes he used steroids, he is a cheat and all his records, and success should be eradicated from any and all record books!” No, just because a person is ” alleged” to have used steroids, to what degree it might have aided him/her in their endeavor to be the best in their prospective profession has not been determined. Furthermore, if steroid usage were detected in less visible venues, such as tournament poker, or golf, would the offense be less palpable?

At this point in my experiment, I feel no ill affects, however, my overall command of the English language, diction, imagination and structure, can be attributed somewhat in part, to an increase in blood flow to the brain. Again, blood flow to the brain is not a steroid incriminating fact, since a good healthy breakfast can aid in blood flow to the brain. What does all this mean…(Knock, knock at the door)

“Hello?” Are you Donald W. Woods, Jr. the writer? “Yes.”

I am Lieutenant Rains and I represent P.W.O.S.-(my badge).

“What does P.W.O.S. stand for, I ask.” P.W.O.S. stands for possible writer on steroids, Lt. Rains counters. I am here to administer a test. Please provide us a sample.

Mr. Wood, I can only provide you with an apology as you have tested negative for any steroid and related prohibited drugs. We thank you for your indulgence.

As you can see, all steroids related charges were dismissed. In my former related story, I mentioned steroid use-not really, only a sugar pill. Since we are, a nation quick to believe something negative more readily than something positive, the real test is how many would believe the worst in a person without giving that particular person the benefit of the doubt. If any person enjoys the success limited to what is reasonably plausible, let us congratulate them on a job well done. If a person is willing to risk their whole reputation to cheat, let us not stand in judgment, for by those same standards will we be judged.

Filed under: Poker News