Poker News

John Vorhaus

If someone tells you they’re smarter than you, they’re not. If they were, they’d know not to tip you off to that fact, thus putting you on your guard. This is true in poker, and also true in life where, at minimum, you don’t want people to think they’re not as smart as you if for no other reason than it may make them feel grumpy and insecure, and then not give you what they want.

With that in mind, let me never claim to be smarter than anyone, and let me underscore the point by listing the Top Ten Ways I’m Dumb at Poker; five this time, five next. I hope to demonstrate through this exercise that honesty, even painful honesty, is a conscientious poker player’s friend, not foe. Here, then, my list…

10. I GET COCKY WHEN I GET AHEAD. I’ve turned many a winning session into a losing session by confusing good fortune with good play. A few key cards can make the difference between booking a win and booking a loss. If I always remembered this fact, my own hubris would not get the best of me. 9. I TAKE SLIM DRAWS. It’s amazing how I can miscompute the simple math of a draw when ego is stake. I know I only have a four-outer, but I will jump through any mental hoops necessary (visions of implied odds dancing in my head) in order to justify the draw.

8. I GET GLOWERY WHEN I GET BEHIND. Not that I’d ever come right out and be rude, but I do tend to turn turtle when things aren’t going my way. There’s nothing wrong with tightening up my play when the situation demands, but I also tighten up my image, and silent, sullen me does not serve my best ends.

7. I PUSH A RUSH TOO FAR. Related to getting cocky when I get ahead, I can’t always consolidate my gains without giving at least some of them back. This is often a case of overestimating my table strength table image. Just because I’m hitting my hands doesn’t necessarily mean the other players will fear me and back down.

6. I LACK STAMINA OR FOCUS. After a few hours of playing poker, even in a great game, my mind starts to wander. It may be that I’m just not cut out for marathon poker. I like to do too many other things. Next time, I’ll list the top five ways I’m dumb at poker. Between now and then, though, I throw down this gauntlet to you: Can you list the top ten ways you’re dumb at poker? I challenge you to make a frank and honest appraisal of the mistakes you commonly make.

But also the ones you don’t. I don’t, for example, buy in short, ever. I don’t rebuy when I rack out badly, ever. I don’t blame bad luck or bad karma for bad outcomes, ever. I don’t berate dealers or other players, ever. I don’t ask for deck changes or new setups, ever. I don’t gamble more than I can stand to lose, ever. I don’t get angry, ever (except angry at myself for manifestly boneheaded plays; but I get over it quick). I don’t play drunk, ever. I hope you’ll see that all of this information - goodnews and bad alike - is, at the end of the day, just information. You don’t have to be particularly smart to use useful information. But you’re not particularly smart if you don’t.

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