Poker News

James McKenna, Ph.D.

I like to play the lower limit Texas Hold ‘em games because there’s more conversation at these tables and I can get more stories of interest. Things like what I am going to tell you happen at these tables. Recently, while playing $3–$6, I noticed a young man who was frequently whining about how the game was going badly for him. Ofcourse, you and I know that nobody cares. In fact, such hard luck stories will get you more attacks than sympathy in a poker game. So, after a while, the therapist in me came out. I turned to the player (a total stranger) and said, “Young man, I wonder what your life would be like if you began noticing the good things that happen to you?” He was more than a little astonished. However, several other players looked at me and smiled as they nodded their heads in agreement. The whiner was turning his playing into sour grapes. He was so focused on what was going wrong that he couldn’t see the opportunities that were there for good plays.

Besides being overly focused on what could go wrong, this player was one of the loosest players at the table. There’s a saying that I borrowed from a more sophisticated one. It goes like this–Question: “Do you know the difference between a loose poker player and a treacherous terrorist?” Answer: “You can negotiate with a terrorist!” Attempting to reason with any poker player is a challenge. However, better players will listen; although they seldom let you know that.

Well, I’ll get back to my story in a little while. For now, let’s focus on what can happen when you notice good things. I make it a habit to notice something good about every hand that is dealt. That’s my wayof staying on a positive state of mind. For example, if I folded a small pair and saw that the raiser won with a flush, I might say, “The good thing about that is that I got out before you got any more of my money.” Or, if someone else wins with a full-house, I might say, “The only thing wrong with that hand is that I didn’t have it. Good hand!”

Staying positively focused will definitely improve your game-if not your mood. For instance, when I become lax in my poker skills, I will give myself assignments designed to improve my skills and my attitude. I might say to myself, “I am going to notice how much better I am playing.” Or, I might think to myself, “I am noticing how well that I am reading other players.” I find that this positive reframing will improve my mood and my game.

Why? As I have said before, the mind goes where you send it. If you are continually noticing your mistakes, chances are you will continue to make them. Of course, as in developing any skill, I need to be sure that I have the information I need to improve. To simply notice how well I am playing and not changing my approaches would be an exercise like doing pushups only in my mind.

Now back to my story. I mentioned earlier that I wondered whether I was getting through to the player who was sowing sour grapes. Before I left the table, I said to the distraught player, “Would you be surprised if you began noticing how well things were going for you?” He exclaimed, “I sure as hell would!” I can’t wait to meet him again. I know that when he starts to notice what good stuff is happening he will be a better player. He might have to tighten up some, though, and start noticing the kind of hole cards that will turn his “horror stories” into “glory stories.”

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