Poker News

Ashley Adams

Let’s be honest, shall we. It’s more fun to play a hand than to fold. It’s more fun to play a wild, careless, carefree rockin and rollin game than to play the careful, self controlled disciplined poker we know we’re supposed to play. With that in mind, I have a list of some excuses you can employ during or immediately after your 7-CardStud session to justify your wild side while not losing face to the many people in the poker room whom you imagine actually care about how you play.

Excuse #1: I was drinking. This is a great all purpose excuse that allows you to pretty much play as badly as you want and lose as much money as you want without taking any responsibility for your lousy play. Raising with ([7c][2d])[9h]? No need to explain anything. Just say, “Hey, I was plastered.” Everyone will let you off the hook (while they rake in your chips). And you get to enjoy the nice high that alcohol provides. Cool!

Excuse #2: I was down to my last few chips. That’s right - just toss in those last few chips thoughtlessly. Sure they add up to a chunk of money in the long run. But don’t worry about serious decisions. This excuse will give you license to really gamble it up when you’re running low. And you’ll bring smiles to the faces of your many opponents.

Excuse #3: I was rolling over the table and playing my rush. When excuse #2 doesn’t apply, go for this one. For those occasions when you feel like pumping up the pot because you’ve been lucky in the past, but don’t want to own up to your bad plays, thisexcuse will come in handy.

Excuse #4: I was really tired. This is an all purpose excuse much like Excuse #1. It’s pretty much self explanatory and useful for those times when you know you shouldn’t be playing but figure, what the Hell!

Excuse #5: Stud’s not my best game. A fine excuse but one that raises sometimes uncomfortable questions like, “well then why were you playing it”. It also helps you paper over a game that is generally sub-par. In other words, you can be bad at all poker games and still honestly say this to justify lousy stud play.

Excuse #6: The game was really so good that I couldn’t leave. This works with people who understand a little (but not too much) about poker. It allows you to sound like you know something about the game even while playing like someone who doesn’t. It does have a serious limitation, however, as it can’t be used with the people who were actually playing with you when you lost all your money -as they’ll know that the game was really so good, primarily, because of you.

Excuse #7. I was stuck With the use of the poker argot “stuck” this gives off an air of insider understanding of the game- while also allowing you to play poorly. It does betray some weakness however -as it leads the listener to wonder, silently perhaps, “well how did he GET stuck”. So it’s best saved for those poker newbies and simple souls who will just be dazzled by your words and not think too deeply about you.

Excuse #8. The stakes were so low that I was bored. This is one of my favorites, for many reasons. It implies that you’re used to playing higher - an indication of how good you really are. It demonstrates that you understand the importance of paying attention - just that you chose not to do so. It does raise potentially uncomfortable follow up questions - like why you were playing so low that you got bored in the first place - raising the possibility that people will understand that you must have lost some serious money at a higher stakes game first. But few will think about your play long enough to reach that level of insight. There are many other excuses for bad play that I’m sure you could add to this list. And of course there’s always just flat denial. If anyone asks how you’re doing just always tell them, with a large grin, that you’re doing great! And don’t let them peek in your wallet..

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