New Prescription Drug to Improve Your Poker Play
Mike Eikenberry
The Federal Drug Administration has just approved a new prescription drug to improve your poker play according to a recent television ad that has recently been running as a test on several local stations in Denver. So that those of you outside the Denver area, who do not have this information available to you, will not get fleeced by some hustler on the drug, I want to repeat the information in the ad.
“Ever lost a bundle at the poker table? Have you ever misread your hand, your opponent’s hand, or the board? If so, then C-THRU may be for you. It is the best of two drugs, Vitamin C and the human visual growth hormone, T.H.R.U. It improves most people’s vision to the extent that they can actually see through normal playing cards giving them an enormous advantage in picking off other player’s bluffs, avoiding calling or raising better hands, and making plays against weak hands.
“Before using this drug or any other poker-play enhancer, you should consult your doctor. If you have certain serious eye problems, such as nearsightedness or farsightedness, use of this product may result in permanent irreversible blindness. Some users may become color-blind and see spades as hearts, clubs as diamonds, and vice versa. Other serious side effects that could injure your bankroll are a tendency to call a lot with any hand. Also some players feel a compulsiveness to go all-in all the time.
“After taking C-thru you should report to your doctor within eight hours if it causes you to have an erection that lasts longer than six hours. C-thru should not be taken if you are pregnant or plan on participating in any act the next three months that could result in pregnancy. In some rare situations, brief daily blood samples may be required to insure that a serious liver condition does not occur.
“As with anything that can seriously affect the health of your body or bankroll, it is recommended that you see your financial advisor, eye doctor, gynecologist, internist, urologist, and Mike Matisow before beginning the use of C-thru.”
Mirapex Revisited. On a serious note, the F.D.A. has approved Mirapex and Requip, a drug with similar side effects, for use in treating Restless Leg Syndrome. As I mentioned in a previous article, these drugs have caused compulsive and uncontrollable gambling urges for thousands of unsuspecting users. Many people have lost everything. The television ads promoting these drugs are somewhat misleading in my opinion. This devastating side effect is only mentioned as a very brief aside at the end of a long list of other more minor side effects. There is a large class action suit proceeding in California against the manufacturer of Mirapex. If you are someone who has used one of these drugs and experienced the devastation of compulsive gambling, contact the California Attorney General about the procedure for joining the pending class action suit as a plaintiff.
Jumping On The Band Wagon. The Colorado Rockies-I jumped on this band wagon early in the season. Rockies to win World Series in seven games againstthe Red Sox, by which time the Bronco’s 41-3 loss to San Diego will be a distant memory. Publisher Stan Sludikoff’s WSOP Crusade-I could not agree more with Stan’s criticisms. In fact, a year ago in an article I wrote in this publication, I was highly critical of the WSOP, and said that the only way the average player could win at the WSOP was to buy Harrahs’ stock (up 35 percent last year).
Purchase my new book to be released in late October. The Great, The Bad, and The Lucky-My Most Memorable Poker Hands. For full info and an autographed copy, please e-mail me.
Filed under: Poker News